Last Names Don't Matter
In the Lower East Side, like the rest of Heaven, everybody knows everybody --- from the time of arrival. Who you were or what you did before don't matter.
What the heck --- you got in, didn't you?
Anyway, your last name up here doesn't mean diddly, so we wipe it from your memory the instant you arrive. For all you denizens who fee "incomplete" without a last name, don't worry about it. You will remember your last name as the city, town, or berg where you got whacked.
"Wait a second," you're thinking. "I didn't get whacked. I died of natural causes."
OK, well MOST people (and critters) in the Lower East Side got here by being whacked. If you didn't and you still feel uneasy without a last name, it will be the city, town, or berg where you croaked. Feel better now?
--- Teddy Leadville
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