Got a Question About Rules?
Everybody's got questions about the freakin' rules.
Can I Have Sex?
Q: I'm pretty sure I'm headed up instead of down but I have one question. Can I have sex up there? -- Edie, East of Eden
A: This is the first freakin' question most people (and critters) ask when they get here. You gotta be kidding. This is Heaven after all. We usually call it "being in the middle of something."
Example:
Bob - "Hey, Tom, wanna go drive a Ferrari?"
Tom - (panting) "Later, I'm, uh, in the middle of something."
Bob - Wink, nudge
Hey What About Teddy's Eyes?
Q: The rules say you can't change your eye color... what about Teddy? This ain't natural. -- Darlene in Denver
A: We wish we could tell you that it's Teddy's punishment for not following some rule or another, but that's not the case. We can't go into a lot of details, for obvious reasons, but Teddy got snagged doin' some undercover in the Other Place. Asmodeus wanted to whack him, but Lucifer convinced Asmodeus that Teddy was already whacked and just sent him back with a new set of eyeballs. BG offered to change 'em back but Teddy wanted to keep them as a reminder that he needed to be more careful out there.